The balmy gray day outside sort of matches our hearts. Packing up this time was a little more efficient than usual, but very hard to do.
To some degree, it may be a good thing for Emily who always feels a little stressed about packing and unpacking. Every week to two, her "nest" is destroyed and she wonders how she'll do it all - as if the stuff outside the bag didn't all fit in before.
Admittedly, Emily carries a little more than I do which makes it so that if she's not on her game, her backpack bulges in sort of an embarrassing, bordering on dangerous manner. Many is the time when I've had to take some her stuff to alleviate the stress of a bad pack....
Over the course of the year, it's been interesting to watch Emily go from "I think I want to wait awhile before we have kids," to "Oh look at that cutie petutie...." several times a day. Her "nesting instinct" seems to have grown stronger and she gets anxious until she unpacks at each hotel room. Meanwhile, she coos over cute little kids and babies. I take these as a signs that we're moving toward ready.
Of course, going home is a step toward that too - and for that reason among several others, I'm happy to go.
I'd be lying if I said we were thrilled. Our hearts aren't fully ready. We could probably go another six months to a year and certainly, we would love to travel South America and maybe Africa. However, this year and this adventure is drawing to a close. We'll figure out other adventures - domestic and foreign - for the future. There are many ways to live life and we want kids who are deeply connected to their family and communities as well as connected to and comfortable with the world.
Life always has options - even for people who don't always see them or who stay fixed on the ones they wish they had. As far as I can tell, life involves a lot of re-focusing and embracing new sets of choices. Often, we're limited by our lack of imagination or ability to step back and reexamine. It's not always - and won't be -as easy as this adventure and year has been for us.
Partly because they like us, partly because we're their newest best customers, the people at the local dim sum place told us to come back every year and to always come see them whenever we come to Hong Kong. The lotus paste filling in their sesame balls is almost as sweet as they are.
So much of life comes down to assumptions. One of Emily's classes on cultural relations spends a week focusing on first impressions and the way we make snap assumptions based on images and a few facts. She says that when she challenges students to evaluate how they assess others, some adamantly deny that they judge people based on first impressions and superficial factors.
Of course they do - everyone does.
My high school economics teacher - who also happened to be my summer camp counselor when I was a young and knew me from age six and is an amazingly honest and straightforward guy - said once that first impressions, snap judgements and to some degree stereotypes make economic sense.
If we all had complete information about everything, everyone would make better, if not great decisions. However, it's impossible to know it all, so our brains look for shortcuts - quick tests and rules that help us avoid pointless research or bad decisions.
Thus, when we see someone who dresses up on the weekends, we might assume she's conservative or perhaps pretentious. A man with a toupee often gets labeled foolish, silly or scuzzy.
There's a strong chance I would talk longer to a 60 year-old black female phone solicitor than a 30 year-old white male because I would trust and respect her more. I have no grounds for this decision - expect that perhaps over time, I've encountered a number of softer, nicer 60-something year-old black women? I'm not really sure. We all have our subtle biases and shortcuts.
Brad's point was that although our snap judgements aren't always correct, well-founded or fair, we find them more useful than not - or we wouldn't use them. In other words, they're efficient and as far as we can tell, maximize our utility.
Traveling our way has been wonderful for gleaning more from each place and culture. We got past the typical sights and superficial feel of a place - past what we imagined, what people have told us to expect and our first impressions - and began to peer under the surface. What we got in 10 days, 2 weeks or even a month is really just a cursory glimpse. Yet, it's so much more than most of us ever get.
How often do travelers spend two weeks in Mumbai and really explore the neighborhoods? I don't know anyone who has spent 10 days in Vientiane, Laos.
Naturally expats get a different view - and the longer someone is in a place, the deeper she can go if she chooses. Of course, both expats and travelers can remain in their foreigner bubbles, never really knowing the places and people that surround them. Part of the joy of our journey has been peeling back as many layers as we can and trying to see the world a little more for what it is, rather than our idea of it.
I've never spent this long in Hong Kong. As with everywhere we've been, the time we take because of our work and needing a slower pace than if we were only traveling has added depth. It's easy to get the basics - to capture what's on the surface and what the guidebook and pop culture tells you a place is about.
I've always enjoyed Hong Kong for the bustling, energetic, creative, culturally unique place that it is. One thing I can say for certain is that there is only one Hong Kong and it's a treasure.
On the surface, Hong Kong seems fantastic. Compared to so much of the world it's doing well both financially and in terms of quality of life.
Being here, I've wondered if - not including the typhoon - Hong Kong hit the perfect storm. It rejoined China at a moment when China began serious reforms and a bold entry onto the world stage. China is going capitalistic and Hong Kong is a useful model. The people of Hong Kong may just get to keep what they have even when the 50 years of protection under the British treaty pass.
I've also begun to wonder if Hong Kong - with all its tribute to traditional Chinese culture and academic dedication to Sinology - will also become a little lost. Not fully Chinese, not Western - both a throwback to more traditional Chinese cultural habits and yet extremely modern and international - the Hong Kong people's uniqueness may also leave them feeling somewhat isolated. At some point, I imagine there will be difficult decisions and cultural struggle.
I also love to ignore the dark underside of Hong Kong life. Today, as every Sunday, the parks and public areas of Kong Kong are filled with Filipina domestic workers and nannies enjoying their one day off each week. Like Singapore, Hong Kong families often have domestic helpers from the Philippines, Indonesia and in Singapore's case also Sri Lanka.
I've read stories and heard tales of Filipina nannies who aren't afforded bedrooms or personal space and sleep on mats on the floor or in one case, inside a pantry. Physical and emotional abuse happen too - and although there are statutes on the books, no one really protects nannies and housekeepers.
Throughout the week, we see Filipinas of all ages - taking children to the park, helping the elderly down the street, feeding babies and going with Hong Konger parents on family outings to help with the kids, so the parents can enjoy.
Perhaps if I hadn't lived in Singapore, I wouldn't care as much as I do. I recruited many Filipino nurses from Singapore and heard their stories and those of their families and friends.
I had one nurse with three little children who worked in Singapore to support her kids while her parents and husband raised them. She saw her family a few weeks a year. On one visit, she got pregnant, worked through her pregnancy, flew back to the Philippines, delivered and then returned to work in Singapore two weeks later. It was her third child and she didn't see her baby again until she was 11 months-old.
When I asked her why she chose this, Dabby told me that her family needed the income. They could lose their land if she didn't work. It was what she had to do.
Because at one point, we had four American 20-something year-old guys sharing a four bedroom, 2100 square foot condo, we had Mathilda - a day maid - come every Saturday. She made about $6 USD per hour and cleaned for us on her day off from her full-time job for an American family. She used her "day off" to clean other people's homes to make extra money to send home to her family. She had a daughter in college.
I realize the Filipina nannies and housekeepers wouldn't be here if it wasn't a better job than they could get back home. Naturally, I watch - especially the nannies who trail behind parents like caddies at a golf game - and I feel sad.
Hong Kong is a place with two family incomes and career professional women. Coming from where I do, how can I not understand that? Looking at what Hong Kong has and is about - how could I not appreciate it? One thing I understand about little Hong Kong is that people work hard. There's an unstoppable momentum that's part of the fabric of life here. For better and worse, nannies help make that possible.
During our ten days here, I've contemplated the nature of Hong Kong life - it's spectacle, culture, glitter, cultural cohesion, uniqueness, richness and shallowness too. I love the way it preserves some of the most wonderful Chinese customs and cultural arts and at the same time, it embraces the Western world too. But I also wonder if life here isn't or hasn't become somewhat "flat" in the way it is in so many Western cities too. Where does all the hustle and bustle lead?
Meanwhile, Emily who started off overwhelmed by the frenetic energy of the big city, has come to appreciate it over the last nine days. As she got past the shock of returning to the first world - and a crowded piece of it at that - she began to appreciate the uniqueness of modern, international neighborhoods stacked on top of traditional Chinese ones. She explored the cuisine that was hard for her to get into after Thai and Lao and found solace in various dumplings, "tribute vegetables", pastries and hot Chinese soy milk. Emily has tapped into some of the cultural delights and charms of Hong Kong.
In my opinion, Hong Kong has one thing so few major cities do - incredible beauty. Behind the giant skyscrapers and condo blocks stand tall, green mountains and below them lies beautiful calm blue water. It's a manmade city in nature's backyard. The fresh breezes across the harbor keep the city fresh and for a city its size, it's not hard to find a great view. Hong Kong is like fusing New York and San Francisco, with heavy emphasis on Chinatown. Only it's prettier still.
Perhaps that's why spending the day on Lantau is so pleasant. Honkies come here on the weekend to escape the frenetic city and enjoy outdoor activities and local culture. We're enjoying our last day amid the peace and calm of the water before we take to the air.
To some degree, it may be a good thing for Emily who always feels a little stressed about packing and unpacking. Every week to two, her "nest" is destroyed and she wonders how she'll do it all - as if the stuff outside the bag didn't all fit in before.
Admittedly, Emily carries a little more than I do which makes it so that if she's not on her game, her backpack bulges in sort of an embarrassing, bordering on dangerous manner. Many is the time when I've had to take some her stuff to alleviate the stress of a bad pack....
Over the course of the year, it's been interesting to watch Emily go from "I think I want to wait awhile before we have kids," to "Oh look at that cutie petutie...." several times a day. Her "nesting instinct" seems to have grown stronger and she gets anxious until she unpacks at each hotel room. Meanwhile, she coos over cute little kids and babies. I take these as a signs that we're moving toward ready.
Of course, going home is a step toward that too - and for that reason among several others, I'm happy to go.
I'd be lying if I said we were thrilled. Our hearts aren't fully ready. We could probably go another six months to a year and certainly, we would love to travel South America and maybe Africa. However, this year and this adventure is drawing to a close. We'll figure out other adventures - domestic and foreign - for the future. There are many ways to live life and we want kids who are deeply connected to their family and communities as well as connected to and comfortable with the world.
Life always has options - even for people who don't always see them or who stay fixed on the ones they wish they had. As far as I can tell, life involves a lot of re-focusing and embracing new sets of choices. Often, we're limited by our lack of imagination or ability to step back and reexamine. It's not always - and won't be -as easy as this adventure and year has been for us.
Partly because they like us, partly because we're their newest best customers, the people at the local dim sum place told us to come back every year and to always come see them whenever we come to Hong Kong. The lotus paste filling in their sesame balls is almost as sweet as they are.
So much of life comes down to assumptions. One of Emily's classes on cultural relations spends a week focusing on first impressions and the way we make snap assumptions based on images and a few facts. She says that when she challenges students to evaluate how they assess others, some adamantly deny that they judge people based on first impressions and superficial factors.
Of course they do - everyone does.
My high school economics teacher - who also happened to be my summer camp counselor when I was a young and knew me from age six and is an amazingly honest and straightforward guy - said once that first impressions, snap judgements and to some degree stereotypes make economic sense.
If we all had complete information about everything, everyone would make better, if not great decisions. However, it's impossible to know it all, so our brains look for shortcuts - quick tests and rules that help us avoid pointless research or bad decisions.
Thus, when we see someone who dresses up on the weekends, we might assume she's conservative or perhaps pretentious. A man with a toupee often gets labeled foolish, silly or scuzzy.
There's a strong chance I would talk longer to a 60 year-old black female phone solicitor than a 30 year-old white male because I would trust and respect her more. I have no grounds for this decision - expect that perhaps over time, I've encountered a number of softer, nicer 60-something year-old black women? I'm not really sure. We all have our subtle biases and shortcuts.
Brad's point was that although our snap judgements aren't always correct, well-founded or fair, we find them more useful than not - or we wouldn't use them. In other words, they're efficient and as far as we can tell, maximize our utility.
Traveling our way has been wonderful for gleaning more from each place and culture. We got past the typical sights and superficial feel of a place - past what we imagined, what people have told us to expect and our first impressions - and began to peer under the surface. What we got in 10 days, 2 weeks or even a month is really just a cursory glimpse. Yet, it's so much more than most of us ever get.
How often do travelers spend two weeks in Mumbai and really explore the neighborhoods? I don't know anyone who has spent 10 days in Vientiane, Laos.
Naturally expats get a different view - and the longer someone is in a place, the deeper she can go if she chooses. Of course, both expats and travelers can remain in their foreigner bubbles, never really knowing the places and people that surround them. Part of the joy of our journey has been peeling back as many layers as we can and trying to see the world a little more for what it is, rather than our idea of it.
I've never spent this long in Hong Kong. As with everywhere we've been, the time we take because of our work and needing a slower pace than if we were only traveling has added depth. It's easy to get the basics - to capture what's on the surface and what the guidebook and pop culture tells you a place is about.
I've always enjoyed Hong Kong for the bustling, energetic, creative, culturally unique place that it is. One thing I can say for certain is that there is only one Hong Kong and it's a treasure.
On the surface, Hong Kong seems fantastic. Compared to so much of the world it's doing well both financially and in terms of quality of life.
Being here, I've wondered if - not including the typhoon - Hong Kong hit the perfect storm. It rejoined China at a moment when China began serious reforms and a bold entry onto the world stage. China is going capitalistic and Hong Kong is a useful model. The people of Hong Kong may just get to keep what they have even when the 50 years of protection under the British treaty pass.
I've also begun to wonder if Hong Kong - with all its tribute to traditional Chinese culture and academic dedication to Sinology - will also become a little lost. Not fully Chinese, not Western - both a throwback to more traditional Chinese cultural habits and yet extremely modern and international - the Hong Kong people's uniqueness may also leave them feeling somewhat isolated. At some point, I imagine there will be difficult decisions and cultural struggle.
I also love to ignore the dark underside of Hong Kong life. Today, as every Sunday, the parks and public areas of Kong Kong are filled with Filipina domestic workers and nannies enjoying their one day off each week. Like Singapore, Hong Kong families often have domestic helpers from the Philippines, Indonesia and in Singapore's case also Sri Lanka.
I've read stories and heard tales of Filipina nannies who aren't afforded bedrooms or personal space and sleep on mats on the floor or in one case, inside a pantry. Physical and emotional abuse happen too - and although there are statutes on the books, no one really protects nannies and housekeepers.
Throughout the week, we see Filipinas of all ages - taking children to the park, helping the elderly down the street, feeding babies and going with Hong Konger parents on family outings to help with the kids, so the parents can enjoy.
Perhaps if I hadn't lived in Singapore, I wouldn't care as much as I do. I recruited many Filipino nurses from Singapore and heard their stories and those of their families and friends.
I had one nurse with three little children who worked in Singapore to support her kids while her parents and husband raised them. She saw her family a few weeks a year. On one visit, she got pregnant, worked through her pregnancy, flew back to the Philippines, delivered and then returned to work in Singapore two weeks later. It was her third child and she didn't see her baby again until she was 11 months-old.
When I asked her why she chose this, Dabby told me that her family needed the income. They could lose their land if she didn't work. It was what she had to do.
Because at one point, we had four American 20-something year-old guys sharing a four bedroom, 2100 square foot condo, we had Mathilda - a day maid - come every Saturday. She made about $6 USD per hour and cleaned for us on her day off from her full-time job for an American family. She used her "day off" to clean other people's homes to make extra money to send home to her family. She had a daughter in college.
I realize the Filipina nannies and housekeepers wouldn't be here if it wasn't a better job than they could get back home. Naturally, I watch - especially the nannies who trail behind parents like caddies at a golf game - and I feel sad.
Hong Kong is a place with two family incomes and career professional women. Coming from where I do, how can I not understand that? Looking at what Hong Kong has and is about - how could I not appreciate it? One thing I understand about little Hong Kong is that people work hard. There's an unstoppable momentum that's part of the fabric of life here. For better and worse, nannies help make that possible.
During our ten days here, I've contemplated the nature of Hong Kong life - it's spectacle, culture, glitter, cultural cohesion, uniqueness, richness and shallowness too. I love the way it preserves some of the most wonderful Chinese customs and cultural arts and at the same time, it embraces the Western world too. But I also wonder if life here isn't or hasn't become somewhat "flat" in the way it is in so many Western cities too. Where does all the hustle and bustle lead?
Meanwhile, Emily who started off overwhelmed by the frenetic energy of the big city, has come to appreciate it over the last nine days. As she got past the shock of returning to the first world - and a crowded piece of it at that - she began to appreciate the uniqueness of modern, international neighborhoods stacked on top of traditional Chinese ones. She explored the cuisine that was hard for her to get into after Thai and Lao and found solace in various dumplings, "tribute vegetables", pastries and hot Chinese soy milk. Emily has tapped into some of the cultural delights and charms of Hong Kong.
In my opinion, Hong Kong has one thing so few major cities do - incredible beauty. Behind the giant skyscrapers and condo blocks stand tall, green mountains and below them lies beautiful calm blue water. It's a manmade city in nature's backyard. The fresh breezes across the harbor keep the city fresh and for a city its size, it's not hard to find a great view. Hong Kong is like fusing New York and San Francisco, with heavy emphasis on Chinatown. Only it's prettier still.
Perhaps that's why spending the day on Lantau is so pleasant. Honkies come here on the weekend to escape the frenetic city and enjoy outdoor activities and local culture. We're enjoying our last day amid the peace and calm of the water before we take to the air.
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