Diamond And Popcorn

I didn't expect his email, but there it was. Two nights ago Mohit emailed to see if we were in Delhi. We met he and his wife, Shubhi in Kerala when they took a vacation for their fourth anniversary. We were all at the Keraleeyam resort at the same time. Eventually, we had a few conversations and really enjoyed their company and perspectives.

Emily had mentioned the day before we came to Delhi that we should contact Mohit and Shubhi. To make friends in another country is the best. It's an entirely different connection and perspective. And these people are really interesting and cool.

So, when Mohit emailed we were both excited. We quickly arranged to meet Friday night for drinks and dinner.

Mohit and Shubhi live in Guragon - the northernmost part of Delhi. They decided to brave Friday evening traffic and drove all the way to the center of Delhi to pick us up and go to dinner in Connaught Place.

Our first and most surprising lesson from them is that Connaught Place is much bigger than we knew. We had been there the other night and apparently only traverse the "inner circle" of the multi-ringed structure. It was impressive to see by car.

We also quickly learned some of the highlights of Delhi's architecture and layout. Both Mohit and Shubhi are architects who have their own firm that Mohit founded after graduate school. And if working together weren't enough, Mohit's father is also an architect.

India's improved economy has meant a change in architecture and design, they told us. Today, clients are spending far more money on the interior of their homes than on the structure. Mohit says just six years ago, the structure was at least half of the total project cost because people kept the materials simple. Now, fine quality materials - stones, woods, etc - are being used and people are making their dream homes and better looking commercial properties.

For two young architects - Mohit, 32 and Shubhi, 27 - this is exciting because it means being able to use the skills they learned and to put their creativity to work.

These people also have a creative spark among themselves. Theirs is a "love marriage". They met in school and chose each other. Apparently, it took a little work to get their families on board, but both being of good families, it wasn't too bad. Apparently, now Mohit - who is the son of a Brahmin-Punjabi mixed caste marriage himself - is well loved by her Brahmin family despite their initial feeling about a mixed caste marriage.

"My mom calls him her diamond!" Shubhi said. "Everyone notices Mohit! Everyone loves him! It's my family! What about me?!"

The answer is obvious. He's a really nice guy and has great hair. Of course people are going to notice at a glance.

But Shubhi is not someone to be ignored. In fact, I offered to accompany her to the U.S. Embassy on Monday so we can figure out her mistaken identity. She talks, thinks and acts more like an American than any Indian I've ever met. Her personality pops - so much so that I told her she's like popcorn. She had us laughing all night.

Over a bottle of Indian white wine and a beautiful dinner with several delicacies we hadn't tried before, we talked and laughed with our new friends the way we do with our friends back home. We learned that Shubhi struggles with one of the key issues American women face - wanting a successful, meaningful, accomplished career and also having a family. She's not ready to have kids yet - but seems to think at some point she might.

The pressures from their families are tremendous. They've been married four years without kids and the parents are somewhat horrified.

"If one more person brings it up, I'm going to grab their throat and strangle them!" Shubhi said.

Her issue just isn't one that her family can really relate. Despite having sent her from her hometown in Rajasthan to live independently and study at a fine architecture college, the full ramifications of having a daughter become an educated professional don't make complete sense. How could they? It's all new for them.

It's not at all new for us. They live as our generation from our circles in America does. People who have education, careers, and choices seem to get married later, have kids later and make different choices than our parents and grandparents because the opportunities of life are - different.

Perhaps if India's economy continues to move forward and education becomes more accessible, there will be an ever-increasing number of Shubhis and Mohits. Mohit pointed out that of their friends only two couples out of ten have kids yet. They are India's young, up and coming.

Even though our after-dinner drive around New Delhi was brief - because we talked for hours and hours at the restaurant - seeing Delhi through the eyes of not just residents, but architects was fantastic. They knew the buildings and their significance in a way that only people passionate about the art of buildings and cities know.

At the end of our first and only evening out with Indian friends, we were delighted. Not only are these people we want to stay in touch with, but we learned that there are places where the cultural gaps narrow to such a small point, you can touch.

Mohit and Shubhi haven't traveled much outside of India. They didn't attend schools abroad. But they live a life that mirrors ours. These educated residents of India's largest city are cosmopolitan, outward looking, informed and very refined. They face similar life issues, and have ambitions, excitement and see a world of possibilities. You would also want to invite them to your party - especially Shubhi.

Our stop in Delhi is the shortest of all our Indian stops and it will be impossible for us to get the sense and understand we have for our other Indian destinations. However, last night helped make up for that deficiency by giving Delhi and life here real faces. More importantly, we have friends.

 

 

Sent from my iPad

Comments

[Account Deleted]

hey eric,
read a few of your posts!!! You write beautifully!! will follow from now on.. ;-)
i like this post specially!!! and the title evn more!! ;-)
im so glad we met u guys, and got an opportunity to make friends from another country too (like u mentioned)...its a different experience and im happy to notice the similarities too!
and yeah...let me know when u have a party at home when you get back :-) ill be there for sure!
i couldnt stop smiling at my new name "popcorn" hahaha....
thanks for the wonderful evening!
will keep in touch!
love
shubhi

[Account Deleted]

Eric- this is such a wonderfully written post and yes I love the title too!! You have caught Mohit n Shubhi's personality down to the T. She most certainly is the LIFE of every party and his HAIR is amazing. :-)

I loved to read this post which has such lovely sentiments expressed for two of my dearest friends.

Thanks to Shubhi, I got to read this - hope to follow your blog posts for more witty ones!

regards,

Shalini