Americans, Represent!

"What country?" "You are from where?" "What is your country?" "You country?"

We hear one of these four questions as soon as we meet people. Greetings are held until nationality is established.

Typical responses include. "Oh, I have a brother in America...." "Oh, I know someone who went to New York!" "Obama!" "America - is it a big place?" "America - very rich. You are rich!" "America - my favorite country." "America - I want to go to America!"

A few less usual, but memorable responses have been, "Can you arrange for me to meet Miley Cyrus?! You really must arrange for me to meet Miley Cyrus!" "Your famous actor, Richard Gere was just here in my shop last month!" "What is the official language spoken in America?" "I like your President Kennedy. He came to India to meet our Jawarhalal Nehru!"

Some people take the next step and ask us where in America we're from. It seems that America is comprised mostly of New York. Los Angeles is recognized by some, not others. Saying Hollywood usually sparks recognition, but then we become instant movie moguls and everyone wants to meet Miley Cyrus - so we steer clear of that.

I've also discovered that most Indians I meet know about as much of our geography as the average American knows of India's.

"Los Angeles is near New York?" (because New York is most of the United States)

"Los Angeles is near Boston?" "Los Angeles is East?" "Is that near Chicago? I once visited Chicago - it was very cold."

But the questions that most shocked me weren't about American geography. Our very educated, intelligent 28 year-old guesthouse owner, Arphan asked, "You've been to Israel? Where exactly is Israel?" Which prompted me to pull up the Google Maps on my iPad and give him the visual tour of Asia. "So, there is lots of fighting there? Who exactly is fighting?" And the needle fell off the record....

Somehow if a Balinese or a Thai asked me something like this, I wouldn't have been shocked. Not only is the level of education lower, but they have little need or inclination to care about geo-politics. Arphan went to a private, English-medium school and speaks more intelligently and eloquently than most Americans.

Being abroad always means having a sudden shot of nationality. Everyone has a way of quickly sizing each other up and making decisions about each other based on brief and wholly inadequate information. Once we leave home, nationality is one of the top two along with race. After all, we're the Caucasian-Americans people expect to see. Would we be treated in the same manner if we were African-Americans or Latino-Americans? I doubt it.

Nonetheless, wherever you go outside of home, you represent your country. I try to keep that in mind at all times. I like to speak French to French people in part to put a crack in their prejudices about Americans being uneducated, mono-lingual and American-centric. I want them to have at least a moment where they feel - as we do - that anyone could overhear and understand their conversation. Even an American.

In India, Americans aren't as well represented as other nationalities. Western Europeans and Australians run wild through the Indian plains. For all the pop-media talk of India and Indian spirituality in our country, Americans don't seem to be dominating the tourist trail.

After all, according to the U.S. State Department, only 27 percent of Americans have a currently valid passport. While that's no small number of people, it's a shockingly low percentage of Americans who travel. Of them, how many come to India? Not enough for us to run into with much regularity.

I figure this means that what we do and say counts - in a real way. We aren't just one of the 50 American tourists (besides Richard Gere) that a shop owner runs into in a day like might be the case in London or Barcelona. What we say, how we act, the image we give of our country is important.

I try to tell people aggressively selling me stuff, "No, thank you. I'm not buying now," rather than just completely ignore them. After that, ignoring is fair game. I try to look people in the eye, smile and say "thank you" a lot. Emily and I do a lot of "Thank you. So good. Thank you." We treat waiters and waitresses with the same respect as we would at home.

I've noticed that Europeans and British sometimes have the habit of talking down to local servers and attendants - or treating them like they are too dumb to understand things. I think they opposite is true - they understand almost everything. It's the rare linguistic issue that is the only blockade.

When we're served tea or coffee in our room - or our bungalow before - we always carry it back to the kitchen and thank the staff. They always look shocked and feel like they did something wrong because our bringing it to them must mean we are upset at their lack of timely service. Whereas we feel like they have a kitchen and restaurant to run and we inconvenienced them by having our tea off-site. We can't expect them to run over and clear our dishes. Just about everyone else does, though.

Waiters not only bring food, but usually serve the first portion for you. In nicer places, they watch you like a hawk and as soon as you finish your last bite of a portion, they run over and serve you more. They pour more water before your glass is empty. If you drop a fork, a new one shows up instantly. To us, it's a little creepy and a bit much.

I see vestiges of colonialism. I see British standards of service and servitude in much of the way Indian tourism and restaurant service works. Most importantly and sadly, I see people who don't expect to be treated with respect or as equals in any sense.

Maybe I'm interpreting my own country and culture incorrectly, but I feel that's not our way. I was raised to expect good service, but to respect and appreciate the people who serve and help. When I bartended and waited tables, I gave good service and felt respected.

We live somewhere between the Indian "serving your every whim" approach and the Israeli and Greek, "you're kinda' bothering me by being here" approaches. I think our attitude toward service and respect for service people is a particularly American value and it's one of our best.

I don't think we do anything special or extraordinary. We don't do anything any of our friends and family wouldn't do. Maybe we even do less. When my friend Chad's mom went to Bali for the first time, she was trying to tip everyone $10 USD a person for everything - which is about what they earn in a month. We don't do that.

What amazes me is that despite all the criticisms I hear people make of Americans and our American-centric ways, I am often shocked at how other nationalities treat people in Asia and am usually proud of how Americans act.

Maybe Americans don't go out in the world as much as they could. Maybe we don't study the world and know it's intricacies as well as we should. But we carry a concept of universal value on human rights and dignity. More or less, we believe people are people, and that - to flirt with somewhat corny nationalism - Americans do in fact find it, "self-evident that all men are created equal."

We spend a lot of time appreciating and learning about the things, places and people around us everyday. Sometimes, we learn about and come to appreciate home too.